unsaid words

the old songs follow the rain
carrying a chestful of fading pictures,
a blanket full of unfinished dreams,
and a notebook filled with unsaid words.

sometimes,
i enjoy these short visits of almost forgotten memories

sometimes.

underneath

i visited the resting grounds,
the grass still carrying night's tears.

marble and crosses awake to a brightening sky,
guarding the remnants of lives.

underneath is what remains,
but she is not here.

this is not where she stays.

secrets

i understand that people have secrets. i think it becomes a requirement as people grow older. we acquire them through the passage of time, as we go through the trials and travails of this thing we call life. but as i was observing you, you seem to have more secrets than most which i think is ... unhealthy. why do you have so many truths to hide?

it must be lonely -- keeping things to yourself, hiding things that matter to you behind a pained smile. i know its exhausting and it will catch up with you sooner or later.

i think you're a nice person so i hope you find someone to talk to besides yourself.

cloudy skies and rain.

31 may 2014

we laid mom to rest today. it was bright and warm and the skies were a patchwork of heavy clouds. a few steps away from her place is a young pine tree. finding where she is should be easy. as we were lowering her, the skies opened up and it rained. it was cold and it was refreshing. as they were refilling the soil my brother and i came for a closer look -- i suppose to say our final goodbyes.

the reality hasn't hit me yet. i expect it will arrive in waves in the near future. but for now, my mom is still with me.

"memories fade away in time as tears in rain"

now.

like i told a friend, "it feels like i'm in a boat without a paddle and the water is getting stronger". and all i can do is be taken by the currents.

objects

i have a hard time letting go of things. of objects. especially if i've used that thing/object for quite some time. its like i formed some sort of a good working relationship with it that its just difficult letting go.

i have taken to naming objects. my bike frame is called 'chayong', the car's name is 'chong'. i'm selling my car. i'm selling chong. well, its my dad's car but i've been driving it for a good 16 years. its sporty and fuel efficient. i drove it to and from work. i drove it in the middle of the night. i brought my friends, my girlfriend in and out of town with it.

and now i'm selling it. it feels like i'm betraying the car. honest. but i've decided to sell it to help my girlfriend so letting go is easier.

maybe i should stop giving names to objects.

cancer

my girlfriend has cancer.

it came, like the monster that it is, silently and slowly at first. then she had night sweats even on cold nights. then she started losing weight and gets easily fatigued. we had her tested and i guess we caught it early enough that there was a small debate if the biopsy samples were benign or malignant. but the doctor noticed that the cancer was aggressive.

non-hodgkin's lymphoma. now the monster has a name.

that's another name to hate.

sad eyes

you have sad eyes. despite the smile that covers your lips and the apparent bounce in your gait, your eyes are sad. i dare not think of what those eyes see or the thoughts that hide behind them.

but i am a curious bastard. i want to know the story behind the sad eyes. i want to know why they became sad.

names

i changed my name in this blog. because my name hadn't felt that way for a while now.

this video reminds me so much about you. i remember watching the concert on betamax but it felt that we were there in central park as part of the crowd. it was still light when we found our patch of grass just some ways off to the right of the stage near a line of trees. we got comfortable and sat down on the blanket with out bottles of water and waited for the music to start.

i also remember us silently singing along each song we're intimately familar with.

but this was so long ago. time slowly changes a lot of things.

a memory

"aanhin pa ang damo kung patay na ang kabayo?"

an old proverb that my tita used to say. roughly translated, it says,"what use is the grass when the horse is already dead"

i tire

sometimes i tire of people
of prayer
of life.
once i feared waking up empty
but now it seems that its all i do.

you never really believe it until it hits you. until its there at your front steps knocking at your gate. and even after you've opened the door you still have a difficult time believing it.

i'm still in denial. ever the optimist, i am still hoping for the best of the situation.

i don't feel angry yet. angry at the situation. at people. at the world. at life.

at god.

an afternoon in adriatico

she was there
after thousands of miles
she just walks in
and she was there
after a glimpse of familiarity,
a small happy smile,
a small wave of the hand.
after a brief hello
and after a handful of small words
a fleeting handshake
that meant a thousand stars
that meant a farewell
that meant my goodbye.

– 20 january 2014
written for that january 18 afternoon in cafe adriatico

16 february 2014

skin on skin
your warmth mixing with mine
i slip under a blanket of sleep
content.

the background

i've re-taken up photography when i got myself a digital slr camera last september. the photo below (which is my background for this blog) is one of the photos i took of sampaloc lake in san pablo city during one sunrise using a prime lens.

03 january 2014

right past midnight
i look for the feel of her hand
warm and soft among the sheets
i am falling in love again

change is good

at least i think so... most of the time...

in an attempt at simplicity, i am consolidating most of my active blogs into one. this one.

why? so that i have just a single place to update and maintain. it gets a little tedious updating multiple sites and keeping track of what's in them. this move will also force me to dive deeper into sql and php programming which is what wordpress is based on.

i will still visit every once in a while to keep things tidy and neat but i will have to spend less time here. i've added a feed from my current blog to here in the sidebar to more or less keep things moving here a little.

vacation feel

the christmas vacation feel has set in. but school is not over yet. some of the people i'm working with are unwillingly sliding into that vacation mode already. the weather is cooler which doesn't really help.

the neighborhood too seems quieter. slower.

robin is swimming in vacation mode. he doesn't want to go to school. lazy. he wants his gifts from santa yesterday.

and i've been wanting to go to the mountains again (san pablo). i saw this one there the last time time i visited.

running in my head: apologize

its been running in my head since this morning. its crazy.

sunday ride

cold morning. rode from ust to mall of asia (moa) and back. plenty of cyclists in moa. as in, plenty of cyclists. i tried a bigger gear most of the way and it burns. stop near the power station to drink. i really need to practice that drinking-water-while-riding-slow thing.

the ride back was pretty good but there's a headwind so the going is a little slow. the ride gets pretty dang cold with a cold headwind. but the sinus did go away though so that's a relief.

maybe next time i'll do a couple of rounds in moa instead of the "touch and go" thing i've been doing. its a great time to ride. temperatures are in the low 20s, air is a little dry.

pasko na.

really really really funny video

its pretty rare that i get to laugh really really really hard. i think the first really-laugh-hard-with-tears-in-your-eyes event happened years and years ago with cyn -- a friend of mine (wonder how she is).

this video is one of the latest ones (i'll likely post the other one another time). pump up the volume so you'll hear better.



hope you like...

blood work

i had some blood work done a couple of weeks ago and i just got the results today.

its mostly within normal levels except for my cholesterol - 232 (max range is 200), triglycerides - 185 (max range is 150) and ldl - 161 (max range is 150). my hdl is low - 34 (min range is 40).

i really should bike regularly now. i've started already every sunday mornings for two sundays now and i'm not pushing it yet because i feel like i'm restarting. later on i'll probably do more frequent rides.

i'm not really worried because i don't really eat fatty foods that often although i should cut down on the sweety stuff.

ugh.

riding and rain

in my case, those two doesn't mix well. i have a steel bike and its been raining. there's two "tropical cyclones" — if you will, that's flanking the country. screenshot came from pagasa.


i want to ride for a bit but can't.

so what do i do? work is always a good aternative. and then play around with what i can change with kikay (my bike).

the most immediate would be changing the brakes. my current ones have been loose mostly because of use and age. the brake set is as old as the frame so i'm looking at last year's ultegra as a replacement.

the other stuff that i thought of was upgrading the drivetrain from seven to 10 speed. yeah. late in the game and all. but the plan is to still use downtube shifters but in the 10-speed incarnation and just change the rear hub and derailleurs to 10-speed. this way, i bypass the weight penalties of sti.

or i could just replace the chain.

another is plan is to convert the thing to a fixie. but that's for another post. besides, i can't find any parts here in the pinas.

newton

i went to newton with lito today. bike shop. very nice bike shop. it has a lots of stuff that i like but cannot afford. ha! they sell colnagos. dura-ace downtube shifters and tools.

but no track stuff. the kind lady at the counter showed me the shimano 2008 catalog and its not there. but i did see plenty of goodies. so now, i have to do some research on the shimano part numbers of the track specific stuff that i may ask them to get for me. unless i can ask javaman to do it. 8D

there's also a very nice cannondale frame that's at 50% off:


because:

its off by 50%.

har har.

i have a lot to save up for. i'm not sure if that is bad. or good.

frames

i just saw this pic of a mountain bike frame. its full of holes! well, triangles, actually. but its apparently ridable and lighter than usual — 2.7 lbs for a standard hardtail. the bike is called arantix from delta 7 sports.

i'm trying to think of how heavy a roadie version would be...

soccer field

ust soccer field. one sunday night. i think the guy's playing with his cell.

sunsets

this is along roxas boulevard. we (robin, cherry and i) were walking and robin was on his bike. pinoys like sunsets.

full day

i've had a full day today.

kiara sunning after a bath

i biked around the neighborhood trying to get familiar with the surroundings. i encountered the corner of oroquieta and tayuman -- street names i remember hearing from my mom. i cleaned and waxed kikay (the bike) after a late breakfast. the cleaning included making the spokes a little shinier. har har. i also cleaned cherry's mountain bike. now its all shiny fuzzy all over. i even tested it around the yard. man those tires grip like crazy. also cleaned the turtle's bowl -- the water was turning green already. had a late lunch. gave the kiara (the cat) a much needed bath. she didn't like it of course but i only got one claw mark out of the whole encounter. now she's all white. that's her on the photo sunning herself in the afternoon sun.

kicked a little soccer in ust with robin and then went to mass.

the day's not finished yet.

dining table

the dining table. leaning on the wall is cherry's mountain bike.

study table

this is actually cherry's study table which was handed down to robin.

saint michael

saint michael the archangel, san miguel, manila

i'm not sure if you see the serpent's head but its there in front of him.

week long weekend

its starting to feel like the week is a long weekend. which is bad because it just started -- robin goes back to school tomorrow. and i have some work to finish. i feel so tamad (lazy).

i had a physical exam today. it seems like the blood pressure is slightly up. i have to get some more exercise. the results from the blood work will come in seven days so i'll know for sure if the ldls, hdls and sugars are good. or bad.


robin at rsun.

we're ok

we're ok. nothing happened to us. although cherry was in makati during the bombing. robin was in school and i was in fti just finishing up lunch when someone sent us a text message saying there was a bombing in glorietta. i called up cherry and apparently they didn't know about it yet.

i went to pick up cherry in makati and bring her home. traffic was understandably bad but everyone was patient and there were a lot of regular and traffic police in every corner in makati. i saw an ambulance speeding away at the corner of ayala and makati avenue headed towards makati med i suppose.

so, long story short, we're ok. we're not happy about the situation but we're ok.

things i see: 2007.10.18

today i think i'll start a picture series of the things i see (tis). i don't think that it may interest any of you but then pictures are pictures.

that's an old capiz window with a wall as a view.

things i see: its a new thing now that i have this phone that passes off as a camera. its just 0.3 megapixels so don't expect much.

sunday morning staple

it seems that anywhere i go tom jones' delilah is a staple on sunday mornings. anywhere.

so...

sick

robin's sick. fever and sniffles. and i think i'm getting it too.

waaaah...

well, it is a good day to be sick. its raining. its cool and its nice to curl up in bed.

but that's not my style. unfortunately.

saturday rain

yesterday, we were suppose to go to the the baptism of max -- robin's cousin. the skies had other plans though. it rained hard in the morning and we got flooded in. the strange thing for me was that right after the rain it was all sunny and i could see blue clouds but it was already to late to go.

the trouble with this neighborhood is that when it rains hard for a few hours there will be flood. this problem had been there six years ago. its still there. it appears the the people in power doesn't even care. a pity really.

blog anzeigen

this is weird but the last time i looked, it wasn't in german and i'm not in germany (or austria for that matter). either the blogger guys are playing a prank or there's a planetary misalignment somewhere.

3 musketeers

i got a vcd of the 1948 film version of the three musketeers. it stars gene kelly, van heflin, june allyson, vincent price, angela lansbury, and lana turner.

75 pesos! that's a little less than us$ 2.0. that's cheap. and legal too. i wish dvds were relatively priced as much.

about month ago i also got vicent price's house of wax for around the same price. that was a good movie.

i miss price.

wrong grammar

while i was helping robin with his math assignment i encountered the following in a book:

It costed P 7.00 to develop each picture.

what the ... ?!?!?

"costed"?!?!?!

wrong grammar! "costed"?!?!

duh. i can probably let this pass if it was on the internet where words change in less than a second but this thing is in a published book. its printed on paper.

lousy editing.

okay. the sentence should read:

It cost P 7.00 to develop each picture.

that is the grammatically correct way. and i told robin that fact. the book is wrong.

the book i am referring to is:

discovering math for global learners (4)
published & distributed by rex book store
page 136

duck

its a sad morning. duck haven't been feeling well for the past few days. sayang. he was a good cat. my girlfriend liked him. he was just quiet, more "diciplined" than the other younger cat.

it was a surprise when we got him. he just popped out from nowhere. we fed him and he stayed.

ber season

its the 'ber' season. this morning the air was a little cooler and a little dryer than usual.

christmas is coming.

different air

i just came from san pablo. it rained there for a bit.

and everything smelled sweet after that.

manila smells different. old. burnt. dry.

plant more trees.

tutorials

these days, i'm having a hard time tutoring robin. like any other 9-year old, he's more interested in watching tv or playing with the computer. we do not have a playstation or a gameboy so those are the ones he's interested in. but when we start doing his assignments he starts yawning and acting like the world is caving in on his head.

maybe i should start introducing him to coffee.

prayers for rain

robin and i just finished our before-sleeping prayers.

he prayed for more rain. i asked why.

"... so that i don't have school tomorrow. goodnight"


har har

tipsy and blogging

there is something to be said about waking up from a nap to the sound of surf in the city. the problem is i am about 2 kilometers away from manila bay. floods can be good or bad depending on one's state of mind.

i don't like to wake up early tomorrow. but then again most people don't want to.

after "chedeng" there's "dodong" (names of tropical storms in the philippine area of responsibility). we prayed from rain. and someone said, "sure." we got plenty. but its all for the good, i think.

all this while cruel summer of bananarama is wafting in the background.

goodnight. and have a nice life.

flooded in

well, for today, we are flooded in. i can't complain though. its not hot and we have been praying for rain. robin's happy though because classes has been suspended.

new old house

it always surprises and amazes me how moving to another house can alter the day to day rhythm of life. we recently moved to another house although i did live here several years ago when i was lonely and single. but this time around i have a family.

these days, i wake up a bit earlier than usual but i still try to sleep by 10:30. there is more to do because we don't have any help. there's more to clean. ugh. there's lesser plants around but we have started greening up the place -- a couple of young palm trees; several white angel plants - potted by us and placed along the window lines; a handful of celias (hanging plants) in the windows; a garlic vine; a red leafy, grassy 'thing' -- well, its growing like crazy; along the stairs there's a trio of potted san franciscos with strange colors, certainly not the usual colors; a dama de noche in a really large pot and i just planted a handful of climbing ivy along the base of the walls behind the house.

its a bit tough on the finances and more hard work than usual but all in all, we are, i am, happy.

pictures later.

netless part 2

i'll be netless (without direct access to the internet for the nits) for the next few days.

we're moving house and i just applied for a new tel/dsl line.

let's see if bayantel can install it within the week — they did say "in 3 to 5 days".

i hope the next entry will be posted from the new old house.

two rides

last thursday, lito and i went out for a ride in his area. i had to stay the night before so that we can ride out early enough. robin tagged along since there are no more classes and he could play with his friends while lito and i were riding.

we headed off to tiendesitas and lito showed me his usual loop. all asphalt so the ride was pretty smooth. it rained a little so the temps were really nice and cool. the rain did make the roads a bit slippery. i don't mind. i was racking in the kilos.

good friday, cherry wanted to exercise so we headed off to the mall of asia early morning. she walked and i rode. again. i actually tried to catch a paceline but my speed and endurance wasn't there yet and i got dropped quickly.

but i was cycling. and that's good. i decided to just practice my spin until i got tired.

march 2007 updates

aye, i've been remiss. march was too busy for me. this is a record, of sorts, so i can keep track of what's left of my sanity.

the 12th to the 14th should have been robin's finals but he was a participant in a school play so he was excused so he can attend rehersals the whole week with the show on the 16th. the thing was the schedule for fetching him was a bit topsy turvy.

the finals for the particpants was reset to the 19th to 21st and then there's more activities on the 22nd and 23rd. the 23rd was particularly weird because he received certificates on stage for participating in the school play and for him being enthusiastic about learning basketball. and robin and i didn't know about it until we got to school. we had to go back and get dressed properly — robin was in his pe uniform and i was in shorts! ugh.

the 24th is his birthday and we spent in the mall with his friends and cousins — all in all, cherry and i were taking care of eight kids. its not exactly what i want to do but it turned out really fun! and most importantly, robin enjoyed it!

on the 25th, we had to meet with my parents, my brother and his wife in makati. its a celebration of sorts because on the 28th was my dad's 70th. 70 years on earth. wow!

i can't remember much of what happened for the rest of march though... see? leaking sanity.

been riding

i know. no new stuff again.

well, there is. actually.

i've been out. riding. on my bicycle. meeting new people. having coffeee with friends. its been great so far. i'll write the stories down in a bit. its holy week and the summer vacation is here so i should have more time to write.

the craving

before when i tried to stop smoking, the craving was really bad. i caved in then. recently, i was going through this thread on bike forums on stopping smoking and what genericbikedude posted:

what worked for me was just a little awareness trick. try focusing all of your awareness on your feeling of the craving. look at it and pay attention to it, rather than looking at its effect on you (making you feel bad, anxious, etc).

if you can relly focus your attention on the craving, you'll find that there is really nothing there. and by the time you've relaxed your mind enough to make this work, the craving tends to pass anyway.

the same trick works for physical pain (but to a lesser degree!) and anything that causes anxiety.

makes sense to me than anything i've tried before.

notes and shoutouts

lito: dude, christy was asking when you'd drop by at the bike shop and get that chain replaced

jay: good to meet you bro and the best of luck tomorrow on getting in a team for the tour

eboy: nice sweet opera dude. opera — carbon/titanium road bike dressed in carbon records. caramba. glad to meet you.

kikay notes: jun mentioned that rey ranada was the one who brazed my bike and ave was the one who filed the lugs. even i get confused with the tidbits i get.

just a ride

yesterday, i went out to on the bike a bit. bad ride. i was concentrating too much on the spin, the pedal stroke, the frigging traffic, forgot my water, breathing too little. ugh.

today's ride was a lot better. i just rode. no agenda. no targets. to time constraints.

i just went out for a slow ride. i had time to look around the city, stop for a drink and observe the traffic and the people.

i also got to visit one of the cbike shops i frequent — christy's — and i got a second bottle cage and some story swapping with new friends.

traffic was bad going back home that i had to weave in traffic. it was fun but i didn't want to do it all the way home so on to the wide sidewalk of roxas. surprisingly there was very little people traffic.

got home tired but satisfied with my ride.

riding the bulls

last sunday's ride was my first real test on using the bullhorns. there was a little pain again on the palms near the thumbs at the start of the ride but it went away on the third of the ride. i am assuming its my hand position on the new bars.

i was used to holding on to the brake hoods when i had the drop bars and, compared to the width of the handles, the brake hoods were thicker and therefore more comfortable. so now i'm toying with the idea of thickening that part of the bullhorns which i use more often with bar tape to make it more comfy.

i also adjusted the horns a tiny bit more to point up and this made things a little more comfortable while i'm on the "wings". i still have to get used to that sloping part of the bars nearest the stem but they are, more or less, the same when i was using the drop bars.

one advantage i found out was that i have a better and stronger grip on the brake levers. this is good especially in those moments when you need to suddenly use the brakes

and, somehow, i find it easier to climb with the horns. i don't know why.

i have to ride some more...

tidbit 2007.02.26

never underestimate the determination of stupidity

sunday ride

this sunday was my first "long" ride in manila in a long while. the route was from mendiola - left to legarda - onto ayala bridge - ayala boulevard - across taft towards manila hotel - along roxas boulevard - passing the cultural center then right to world trade center and then left to macapagal then finally to the mall of asia. that's around five to six kilometers i think. i was riding with a friend of mine — lito.

when we got to the mall grounds there were already a large number of cyclists there. there was even a group that numbered around 200+ all gathered in one big bunch. must be a big ride. there's lots of bike traffic. wow. we went around a bit and i decided to rest. we still have to go back. lito went on to ride some more with a group that went around the mall.

the ride back was uneventful and we arrived home safely.

good ride for me. i had real good fun just riding — smiling while pedaling. rides seem to be easier when you ride with friends.

to cyclists who know the area, this would be considered a short ride but to a person going back to cycling from a long lay off, its a long ride. my target was just to get to the cultural center, have some coffee, ride back and i'd be happy. i went beyond that target.

and i want to ride some more.

50% off on utilities ?

i just read this tidbit from the 24 february 2007 edition of the philippine star:

senior citizens also enjoy ... 50 percent discount on bills and utilities such as water, electricity and telephone, and other services.

is this friggin' true? i know several families will benefit greatly from this. i will have to make calls next week.

50% off on utilities is a large amount of money.

kikay the bull

i got time a couple of days ago to switch from the drop handlebars to bullhorns. i didn't want to spend for new bar tape so i just used the old one. the only glitch in the switch was that i had to replace the rear brake cable because it was too short.

so far she looks awesome (to me at least). remember beauty and the beholder.


i tried her out on a short ride and it was fun! i don't know if its because there's something new on my bike or the ride itself or the new position. i went from mediola to the national museum and back. my palms near the thumbs developed some slight pain but it was gone on my ride going back. just to be on the safe side, i tilted the horns up just a little.

oh, and half of ayala bridge was closed for repairs so traffic sucked bigtime.

suzue hubs

one of the bikes shops that i visit gave me this pair. sweet. they're oldies but unused. i think it even predates the suzue juniors or the basic. there was some binding when i turn the axles so i have to disassemble the thing and check the insides.

the pic was taken after i cleaned out the hubs of the old grease and repacked with new lithium grease. the bearings and the races were still intact. it just needed a bit of re-adjustment to take the binding out.

i did some measurements and it seems these things are pretty old. the over locknut distance of the front is 96 mm, the rear is 125 mm (114 without the axle spacer).

they're not really fixed gear hubs but i got them free so i can't really complain. i'm not sure i'm comfortable about putting a fixed gear sprocket there. let's see.

strike one off the list, i think.

baby ruth

my bro just mailed me that our dog — baby ruth — just died. she was around 9 years old which is really up there in dog years. the last time i saw her she looked really tired already.

she's half (or was it a fourth) japanese spitz and local dog; furry crazy; could jump/climb over a five-foot fence; barks loud; playful and malambing.

i'll try to find pictures and post them somewhere.

makes me sad.

bullhorns

i got these profile horns over the weekend from christy's. its cheap at 300 pesos (around us$ 6). i'm not even sure if its 2nd hand because there's no nicks or dings or scratches. i think its a good buy.

and since i was there already i had my wheelset double checked by jun — the bike mech i've known for about 10 years already. he's pretty good at it too.

so scratch one off the list. and i'm a happy cat. i'm even thinking of swapping my drops for this thing. but not yet.

more hunting then...

btw, i dropped by one of the nearby lbs and i saw a pair of suzue hubs for 350 pesos. they're high flanged and they looked used because there's no shine in them. i'll investigate further when i get some extra cash.

bullhorn measurements: 26.0 / 400. i'm not sure how much the drop is.

privacy

yesterday while robin and i were heading home from school, we were called by a couple of his classmates — lawrence and janet — to hitch with them. after a few seconds of goading, we agreed. it was a short trip since we only live a few minutes from school.

this morning robin said, "dad, don't pick me up today okay?".

i gave my fatherly perplexed look and robin said, "i want to ride home with lawrence and janet today."

me, not really sure if he made arrangements already, said, "okay, you can hitch a ride with la (lawrence) but i will have to be there."

and robin indignantly said, "dad, i want my privacy."

and he's just eight.

the pick-up

i don't really know if this would make sense to the non-pinoys who are reading this but i'll put translations in parenthesis...

i was fetching robin from school a couple of weeks ago and i noticed that they have new guards. the guards were not suppose to let any grade schoolers out of the premises without a fetcher or someone to pick them up — be it a school service, a yaya or maid, parent or grandparent. so here comes robin going out through the gate and the guard doing his job:

guard: "boy, boy. teka. nasaan sundo mo?"
(boy, boy. where is your fetcher?)

robin keeps on walking, not noticing the guard.

guard's supervisor: " 'pre, inglisin mo yan. hindi yan nakakaintindi ng tagalog."
(partner, talk to him in english. he doesn't understand tagalog.)

guard: "boy, boy. where is your pick-up?"

dang! i just had to laugh.

first ride

after i trued off the wobble in my rear wheel, i rode for a few kilos today in manila. this is something i haven't done in several years and it felt good.

the streets are a little more crowded with cars and jeeps than i remember but it was still manageable. there are certainly more bikes these days which i think is pretty good.

i'll try to ride longer within the week. i want to drop by jun at christy's to have my wheels double checked. my truing skills are rusty.

measurements (kikay)

list of measurements that would be good to know (for my reference):

frame:
top tube: 52 mm center to center
seat tube: 49 mm center to center
bottom bracket length: 68 mm
fork spacing: 100 mm
rear dropout spacing: 130 mm

seat post: 26.6 mm (weird; today's standard is 27.2)
stem: 26 mm
stem length: 110 mm center to center
handlebar: 42 mm (it says 52 - 42. i don't know what the 52 is)
crank length: 170 mm

did i forget anything else?

project fixie: the list

and now, here's the begging list:

1. road frame
2. fixedgear hubs/flip-flops
3. 700c rims (*)
4. pedals (?)
5. headset
6. bottom bracket (?)
7. cranks (?)
8. seatpost
9. saddle
10. front brake caliper
11. front brake lever
12. handlebar
13. did i forget anything else?

if you'd like to donate a used item that on the list to this project, send me mail. i'll try make it worth your while.

notes:
2007.02.20: i got a set of suzue freewheel hubs for free. not a fixed gear hub but they're free.
2007.02.13: got the handlebar already last sunday — black profile bullhorns. nice.
2007.02.04: it took me a couple of hours searching but i couldn't find the items with a question mark. they must be in another storage area which i haven't look yet. but i did find a saddle that looks like a flite but isn't and an extra ultegra 53t chainring.
(*) i have two araya 27" rims — one has a big taco and the other one has a tiny little taco. i'm not sure if the first one can still be fixed but i think the second one still has a life. i have to check with the lbs.
(?) i know i have these but i have to hunt them down in the house in san pablo.

i like: (or something similar)

twenty four

dang its friggin' cold. manila, 5:30 in the morning: 24 degrees celcius.

for a tropical country, that's cold.

project fixie: intro

i've been thinking a heap about putting together a fixie. seriously. the catch here is i have to do it with very, very little money because i have almost nil to spare. haarrr!

why a fixed gear? trend? fashion? maybe but i don't think so. simple fascination, most likely. i mean, look at that picture above. no shifters. no brake levers. so very basic. you pedal, you go. you stop pedaling, you stop. so simple.

edit: the pictured bikes are not mine. they're there to show what a fixie is. i wouldn't mind having those bikes but they're on the high side of the cost bell curve and i'm staying on looow side.

but i do imagine that it does take time to get used to the fact that you're constantly going through the motion of pedaling even when slowing down. no coasting on this one. and i can also imagine that it will also take a while to master stopping a fixie.

i already have a picture in my head of how the bike would look. nothing really brand names or anything fancy — a road frame, 700c x 25 tires, eggbeater, flip-flops on the rear, the usual seatpost, '7' road stem, road bike saddle, pedals with straps, bullhorn handlebars and a front brake. yes, a front brake. ideally, one would rely on the "foot brake" to stop but do you really think a fixie noob would know how to stop on the first try without getting hurt?

i already have a few items in the project pot that i could probably use. they were all set aside as a result of upgrades to my current bike. they're hidden somewhere so i still have to find them:

• shimano 105 bb; cone and cup
  
• shimano 105 cranks with biopace rings; i forget if its 52/39 or 52/42 or how long the cranks are
  
• steel cage pedals; is that the correct name for it?; i have to get straps though

the next step is to try getting the rest of the stuff for free or for a minimal cost or in exchange for services (me computer guy). i'd rather get them for free even if they're second hand or third hand.

anybody care to donate their throwaways to me? i'll link back you. promise. please?



photos are from kalavinka

funny stuff

robin had to wear a tie for a 3:00 pm procession. here's what happens after...


have you ever seen yours? tonsil !!!

new habits

i've noticed a couple of habits that has been slowly and semi-conciously developing since last december.

first, i have been turning the computer on after 7:30 in the morning and off before 10:30 in the evening everyday. of course on sundays it has a much shorter "on" time. i feel that, for me, this is good. a handful of you might say that 13 hours of using the 'puter is still a long time. and i would not argue with you on that point but i used to turn it on at 5:00 in the morning and shut it down around 12:00 midnight. almost automatically. everyday. even on sundays. that's about 17 hours of computer time right there. everyday. even on sundays. for about two years.

second, i've been wanting to go out and ride my bicycle. my bicycle is 87 kilometers away in san pablo and i want to go out and ride. i'll be bringing her to manila soon along with the clothes and gadgets that come with cycling. i just have to figure out where to store her here. that's a dilemma. and i've been nearly obssessed (i think) with anything related to road bikes. i don't know why this is but i think its good.

third, and most importantly, i think i am spending more quality time with my girlfriend and son. and i think i have been more patient with robin for the past few months. that is definitely good.

i like lugs

bicycle lugs. i don't exactly know why. besides liking riding a bicycle, i am also facinated with that mechanical side of cycling where everything works together. i like how they look and i like how they feel.

when i decided to have a frame custom made it simply because the frames available at the shops then were too big for my stature of 5' 3". there were some frames for my size made of, then still exotic, titanium or carbon but they were super expensive.

a steed of italian steel assembled in the philippines fit my purpose and more importantly would not encourage me to rob a bank.

it was only after years of riding and reading volume after volume of bicycle magazines that i have come to really appreciate my steel frame and the effort and talent that goes into making it. i will not dive into that "this is better than that one" discussion because in the end, it all depends on the purpose and the preferences of the rider.

titanium, aluminum and carbon bikes are the norm these days and i have to admit that they have some really beautiful models out. and i would probably lust after one or two if i see them in front of me but that's not really my thing.

i will be getting another bike one day but i think it will still be made of steel. maybe because its my age. this time i will make the effort of customizing the lugs myself.

photo is from richard sachs cycles

cleaner cogs

one of my hard disks (actually two) is acting up. it doesn't show in the bios but it was there yesterday. i messed around with the connections but it still would not come up.

i want to go for a ride but i only have the rear wheel of my bike. the rest is in san pablo.

grrr...

so instead of getting frustrated with failing computer hardware or not being able to scratch an itch, i decided to just clean the cogs in my cassette.


now they're a bit cleaner and shinier than the picture above. i probably have to get a new chain though.

riding in the rain

this is purely from my experience, post a comment if you have a tip:

1. deflate the tires a little. this will increase the contact patch between the road and your tires and help prevent sliding/gliding on slippery roads.

2. ride slow. i know its frustrating and irritating to some to ride in the rain but try to enjoy it. be a masochist once in a while. this will also help prevent your tires from planing — sliding/gliding on water and get you home in one piece.

3. on the road, be mindful of the things and specially the vehicles around you. if you're riding slow they will pass you.

4. be patient. spashes from other vehicles will eventually find you. its part of riding in the rain.

5. if the rain or wind gets too strong, seek shelter. let it pass and when things get manageable, ride on.

6. before taking that ride in the rain, think wether you can wait for the rain to stop.

7. when you finally get home, take a quick bath. you stink.

8. dry your steed. be it steel, aluminum, titatnium or carbon, some part of a component or another is bound to rust. besides, it got you home right?

stay safe.

hare hare

we went out to walk around the town a bit. the first stop was the park near the lake. with sampaloc lake and mount banahaw as a backdrop, i saw these hare krishna folks chanting/singing and dancing about. its been a while since i saw one or two.

kikay

my bike of more than 10 years. made of columbus tubing. framed by ave maldea (i only knew of this fact a few days ago). campy dropouts. a sprinkling of dura ace and ultegra parts but started life with 105s. do you remember the biopace? i had one but i had it replaced with what you see here.

the wheelset is new except for the hubs. vetta sl saddle with ti rails. she still has 7 speeds. oldie, i know. i'll be replacing that with 10-speed components if/when i get the extra money. the components that need to be replaced would be the read derailleur and hub, the brake levers and downtube shifters. the rear dropout spacing is already 130mm so i don't need to cold set the frame. thank god for small mercies. i do not have any immediate plans of replacing the cinelli stem and handlebar. in the meantime, she's riding pretty well so i have no real complaints.

she has patiently brought me up to tagaytay and back. we've been to a pretty fast paceline at qc circle at one time but got dropped just as quickly. not her fault.we've been in baguio just to bike around but the thin air and my lungs just went as far as two kilometers. i even got lost going back to the hotel. no. i didn't climb up to baguio. we rode a van going to and from. i've ridden her to work from españa/makati for a couple of years also. and once in a while we just hung around picc or cartimar.

lately, we've been trying to tackle some hills and we've slowly improved. she's still willing and able to go up those hills but my thighs and knees are, at times, simply not up to it.

i want to give her a new coat of paint though. have the old coats stripped to metal but i'd still choose black. that's the way she started and that's the way she's going to be. but maybe some chrome in some parts. that would be nice.

next purchase would probably be a new speedometer. a simple one. i basically just want to know how far we've ridden. let's see within the next few months.

cartimar

i got to visit cartimar today to look at some bike shops. cartimar, located in pasay city, is a known haven of sorts to the cyclist. there are lots of cycling shops there carrying a wide variety of brands at relatively low prices.

i was able to visit ballistic to say hello. that's where i got most of the components in my bike but that was years and years ago. i was able to visit the bike room and beng was in her lively self. lots of kwento. and lastly, i visited the ever popular christie's bike shop.

christy was there and in a good mood. i was told that she can give you nice discounts if she's in a good mood but unfortunately my wallet wasn't in a good mood. so i just looked at items in my list of bike needs. i'll eventually get them soon but i'm giving priority to the helmet and the cyclo computer. someone over at pinoy roadies recommended getting a wireless speedometer and i found a cat eye vectra that goes for pesos 1450. good enough for my purposes.

one surprise was i found out that jun (my old bike mech) is now working for christy. he was the one who convinced me to get a custom frame made and he had some nice columbus tubing to go with it. i got to ask him who was the framemaker and it turned out to be ave maldea. this means that ave has been at it for more than 10 years.

my custom bike is still in pretty good shape and it still rides pretty well. steel rules baby!

i'll try to take good pictures of kikay when i get to san pablo this weekend and post them here or on flickr.

photo of cartimar from staff1

pump goes out. again.

it was exactly this time last year that i replaced the water pump. that pump gave out today. this sucks. i had to do a mcgyver and jig it up to supply water at least to the first floor of the house. i'd probably do more tomorrow to increase the pressure a bit.

life's is inherently not fair.

itching to ride

i've been itching to ride eversince i got of the bike about a week ago. the thing is my bike is 87 kilometers away in san pablo and i'm in manila -- problems with storage space, you see. a friend of mine has kindly offered to store (and caress) my bike at his place near libis if i decide to bring it over. i'm seriously thinking about it.

anyway, to tide the urge over i decided to just surf the net for some local cycling stuff. i found a couple of sites that's worth a look see:

• philippine cycling network : its a mailing list at yahoo! groups
• pinoy roadies : this is a forum for roadies
• bike forums : this is also a forum but it covers all forms of cycling
  

it really depends on your poison. i'm a roadie so i lean more for the 2nd and 3rd links.

i'm going back to san pablo this weekend and i'll try to see if i can get some more time on the saddle without blowing up.

toothpaste

robin: "mom, if i swallow toothpaste will i die?"

mom: "ummm..."

me: "no. your stomach will just grow teeth."

it was nice but...

we went to one night of competition to the pyrotechnics olympics at the mall of asia last night. although it didn't start on time, the fireworks display from the united states and spain was absolutely fantastic! we were on the top floor of one of the parking areas. if you want to see more, then look over my flickr thingy.



the only major letdown last night was trying to get home. the queue to the parking exit of the south wing of the mall was too long. we were parked on the 5th level. it took around 30 minutes just to move 10 meters. we finally gave up and parked again. we waited for another 30 minutes to see if the cars will move — nothing moved. we we decided to just go back down and sit somewhere. all in all, it took about 2 and a half hours just to get out of the south parking facility. that's from 10:30 pm (after the last fireworks display) to around 1:10 am. that's a big "duh!" to the parking management of sm. really bad. it shouldn't have happened. if it was an emergency situation, heads would be rolling by now.

no. we're not going to the mall of asia anytime soon. and if anyone of you are planning to go there for the fireworks, park outside on the north end. it would be safer.

bike needs

after that first ride i realized i needed a few things to add to my cycling "war chest".

• a new helmet. i have an old, old bell that's more than 10 years old. it desperately seeks retirement.
• a new pair of gloves. my girlfriend was nice enough to lend me hers but if we bike together i don't have any to use.
• spare tires and interiors. i'm praning (paranoid).
  
• cycle computer. mine went south a looong time ago. i need a new one that's cheap. maybe a cateye.
  
• re-read the maintenance tips of the magazines. especially the one about truing a wheel.
  
• practice. i know i'm out of it when my tongue hangs out after two kilometers.
• and more practice.

riding again

i'm on it again. after a couple of years. finally.

i'm riding kikay (my bike) again.

a couple of years ago i had a small accident which sent me flying a couple of meters and my bicycle wheels taco'd. minor scrapes and bruises, as they say.

last christmas, my girlfriend gave me a new set of rims. its not those high-tech, expensive, in-your-face kind of road rims. its just the simple kind. 700c. light. araya. enough to get me on that excited-like-a-little-boy state of mind and on the bike again. i am grateful to her. i had the wheelset assembled and ready to go. everything else was new except for the hubs. old 105s but they're still painfully and usefully smooth.

i recently spent a handful of days in san pablo and i went on short rides. the wheels are really nice. it felt absolutely great riding again even its for short hops.

i'm back in manila now and i'm trying to figure out where to store kikay if ever i decide to bring her here.

2007!

a merry and peaceful new year to you!

... now i'm going to sleep...

la belle dame sans regrets

dansons tu dis
et moi, je suis
mes pas sont gauches
mes pieds tu fauches
je crains les sots
je cherche en vain les mots
pour m'expliquer ta vie, alors
pu ments, ma Soeur
tu brises mon coeur
je pense, tu sais
erreurs, jamais
j'ecoute, tu parles
je ne comprends pas bien
la belle dame sans regrets

je pleure, tu ris
je chante, tu cries
tu semes les graines
d'un mauvais chene
mon ble s'envole
tu en a ras le bol
j'attends, toujours
mes cris sont sourds
tu ments, ma soeur
tu brises mon coeur
je pense, tu sais
erreurs, jamais
j'ecoute, tu parles
je ne comprends pas bien
la belle dame sans regrets...

happy holidays

before i start playing with this new version of blogger i'd like to happy holidays to everyone. please safely enjoy the season.

peace

the season's rush

i feel that the season's rush is here. everyone wants to do 47 things at a time, go to everywhere where there's a sale, squeeze more money from anywhere and generally just walk faster.

i want to get off the rush. today. now. i'm not exactly a stranger to frenzy but things really get frantic in december. and one of the hardest parts of the day is getting out of a cozy warm bed while the sun is still out.

anyone of you want to sit still with me and just have coffee?

wassum

in the immortal words of mutley, "wassum fassum wassuum fassuum."

which roughly translates to, "me no like mondays. i no like."

crappy day

has anyone of you reading this thing ever had a day when you felt that the whole planet was conspiring against you for the past 364 days and you're now beginning to feel that it started its dastardly plans against you?

well, i'm having a week of it. a whole seven days. gaaackk!

i feel like i'm a bad vibe black hole which sucks up all the wayward bad luck within a two kilometer radius. not fun, really.

and i have this gut feel there's more to come.

i want to sleep for the rest of the year.

the deodorant

i just saw my 8-year old son put on deodorant.

its nivea's deodorant (whitening). his armpits doesn't smell bad nor do they need any whitening. he's white enough as it is.

the funny part is that he began rubbing his armpits with his arms (like when you're running) to spread the deodorant around. much like what his father does.

soul candle

i wasn't able to visit the graves of my brother (dennis), my lola and my tita last november 1. we had to go back to manila on the 31st of october. so i decided to just put a candle up and say prayers for each of them.

something different

i took a bath in the rain today. not intentionally at first. but i still stayed out and got really, really wet. soaking.

it was cool and fresh and relaxing and fun. its been quite a long time since i did that.

when was the last time you took a bath in the rain?

no more coke

i have stopped drinking coke in all of its two varieties — lite and original. for about four weeks now.

no pepsi, diet pepsi or pepsi max either.

no colas.

i drink c2 every now and then but not regularly. and only buy it when i need a bottle. i reuse their bottles kasi.

i do drink plenty of water though — about 3 liters a day. or there abouts.

no. no doctor told me to stop. i just wanted to. and i also have been saving quite a lot because of it.

now, if i can just find an easy way to stop smoking...

a good morning

i just had an early morning earthquake greeting. it felt like it was around intensity 3.5. and its robin's last exam day and start of a two week vacation. yey!

update: something's up in mindoro. they've had three earthquakes in the last two days. first thing that comes to mind is underground nuclear testing. ha!

escolta 10.2006

my girlfriend and i went to escolta yesterday. sorry no pictures yet. i was there more than 9 years ago and things are a bit different today. the place looks generally cleaner. there are sweepers at almost every corner keeping things tidy. there's a school — city college of manila — where the philippine national bank used to be so college students in uniform lend a "young" attitude to the street. there are two or three empty lots turned into parking spaces where buildings used to stand. there's less traffic now which i think is a good thing. people can walk. the street still has a lot of its character eventhough some people think or say that its time has passed.

there's a nice coffee shop near the end of escolta where you can have some brewed coffee and hopia among other things. polland is its name. its a good place to rest after a walk in escolta.

stormy weekend: part 3

30 september 2006, saturday
its strange waking up in a dark room and all is quiet. i got used to waking up with robin's night light on and some music or news from our neighbor's radio. but this time its all quiet. and dark.

cherry and i decided to trim some plants in the garden. they're thick with extra leaves and small branches especially the santan bushes.

i heard over the radio that there's another storm coming. neneng's the name they gave. ugh. i hope that thing doesn't hit us directly.

its been more than two days without electricity. it heard over the news that meralco asked for help in clearing up fallen trees so they can bring up the eletricity much faster

hmmm... how come when they can't give you electricity they ask for help. but you miss paying for two days and they immediately send you a notice of disconnection.

1 october 2006, sunday
we finally got the electricity back on by 5 pm today. i'm too tired to catch up on news. i'll probably do it within the next few days. i have to check my mails first.

stormy weekend: part 2

29th september 2006, friday
there was still no electricity in our part of the city. robin and i decided to take a walk around the neighborhood and take some pictures.

there's one uprooted tree in front of centro escolar university (ceu) but most of the trees in the area just suffered broken branches.

most of the new lamp posts that mayor atienza had installed a few weeks earlier in mendiola were still standing except for one.

a large branch fell on top of the guard house of la consolacion

mendiola on the holy spirit side was relatively passable

but the sidewalk on the la consolacion side was not

branches that fell in a creek behind holy spirit

more photos in my flicker thingy.

we had to get some supplies from the supermarket so we went so sm manila. bad idea. the trip was, to coin cherry — a disaster.

the mall was running on generators so there was no aircon. most of the people were fanning themselves which means its been warm inside. we tried getting money from the atms but there were long lines on every one. ugh. and there's a three-day sale going on which meant tons of people. we decided to just get what we needed from the grocery and go. no window shopping on this trip.

the supermarket wasn't accepting credit card transactions because they couldn't connect to the card companies. that's because of the storm. there were abandoned cars of groceries within the the supermarket area.

its been more than a day of no electricity.

stormy weekend: part 1

i got caught with the sudden power outage — more than three days without electricity! ugh! since i couldn't blog online, i went analog and wrote things down...

27th september 2006, wednesday
a storm is coming. they gave it the name milenyo. its storm signal #1 over metro manila which means robin doesn't have classes tomorrow.

28th september 2006, thurdays
the storm was expected to pass north of manila but this morning's news said it changed tracks and will hit the metro around lunch time. storm signal #3 is raised over metro manila.

the electricity goes out at around 11 am. this sucks.

winds are getting strong now. the eye of milenyo arrived around 1pm. well, at least it felt like the eye of the storm. winds were really strong that it started to tear away one part of the neighbor's roof. small billboards on the fence of a nearby school was torn off and sections of the gym's roof began peeling off.

the house is holding pretty well eventhough its around 40 years old already. there are some leaks but nothing serious.

we have a eucalyptus tree that's about a year old and around 4 - 5 meters high. it was riding out the storm. the topmost tip of the tree would touch the ground with every strong gust of wind.

by 3 pm the winds have died down and i went out to the yard to assess the damage.

the eucalyptus tree didn't break but the guava tree was lying down on its side. good thing it was still small enough (4 meters) that i was able to prop it back up with a thick stick.

there wasn't any other noticable damage to the house. everything was still intact.

time to clean up.